today it suddenly hit me that being me is not being so conscious about what other people say and to just do what i want, be what i want to be, do what i am interested in. i shouldn't care so much about what people say about me or think about me. i accept compliments and praises, and i am generous to other people as such too. i serve them with kindness and humility but not to please everybody. many have proved impossible.

also, i was inspired by hardworking people and friends. i know people are not perfect, and infallible, but i know perseverance and excellence. be excellent at what is good, be innocent of evil. i want to be that. i want to be excellent in every aspect to feel good about myself and not ravel in self pity.

i wanna keep up with a pleasant, presentable appearance, dress smartly (doesn't need to be trendy). i wanna be healthy, keeping up with exercise and balanced diet. i wanna excel in academics, be a model student and get good grades, they don't need to be straight As. To me, B is good. Anything above would be a bonus. I wanna be nice to people within my limits. i want to be beautiful in character and in person. i don't need to try too hard to put extra makeup or to dress like a model, no, i just be myself and do what is necessary for being a presentable person. someone whom people will not call sloppy, or lazy, or irresponsible or selfish.

my boyfriend is trying very hard to excel in his studies too. but the course is very difficult and he is worrying about repeating the term. i have been praying for him. i am assured that he will not repeat because i know his capabilities.

i, on the other hand, have an exam coming up on Aug 11, Saturday. tomorrow I'd really have to study hard and wrap up what I've learnt so far.

alright, time for bed!